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Вестник МГУ. Сер. 19. Лингвистика и межкультурная коммуникация. 2005. № 3
ЯЗЫК, ПОЗНАНИЕ, КУЛЬТУРА
Elena Gritsenko (Linguistic University of Nizhny Novgorod),
Diana Boxer (University of Florida)
WHAT'S IN A (SUR)NAME?: WOMEN, MARRIAGE,
IDENTITY AND POWER ACROSS CULTURES*
Part II
The Russian data
Historical Background
Before the October Revolution of 1917, Russian women were required to take their husbands' name and retain it all throughout their married lives and even after divorce, should the marriage be legally dissolved (Legal Code, Decrees of Peter the Great and the Holy Synod, supreme governing body of the Russian Orthodox Church). Later in the century, with the advent of the Soviet Union, the law provided for women and men to have the choice of taking either spouse's surname or to keep their birth surnames. The option of taking a hyphenated name was not provided in the Soviet Union until the current Civil Code of the Russian Federation (passed in December 1995, in effect since March 1996). Legally, then, the opportunity for women to keep their birth surname, hyphenate both names, or for both spouses to take the wife's surname, has been available for many years. In reality, however, choices have been governed more by "the law of tradition."
Research Sample
103 women participated in the Russian questionnaire data for this research (see Appendix 2). Among them, most were married women of different age groups — 20s through 80s — and a few young women about to get married. Five of the women participated in quasi-ethnographic oral interviews similar to the US interviews; two more women provided extended narratives via e-mail. Most respondents (81) had a higher education (M.A. or B.A. equivalents); 14 were fourth/fifth year university students; 8 had doctoral degrees (PhD equivalent). The respondents were women from two geographic areas, Nizhny Novgorod (Location of the Linguistic University) and St. Petersburg. However, since some of the students who participated in the questionnaire data
* Начало см.: Вестн. Моск. ун-та. Сер. 19. Лингвистика и межкультурная коммуникация. 2005. № 2.
collection were studying by correspondence and lived in other locations, the actual geographic distribution of the respondents was much wider (e.g. Central Russia, The Volga Federal District, North-Western region of Russia, etc.). The respondents were employed in different professions and specialty areas. As might be expected, to a great extent views in the cities tend to be more liberal, and in rural areas more traditional.
Do women have a choice? Who makes the choice?
The respondents who took their husbands' surnames after marriage did so due to a long-lived tradition. Over 50% of women of all age groups stressed this as the main reason for their choice. The word "tradition" was not always mentioned, but usually was implied. These excerpts are all translations from Russian:
"it was always done this way"; "such is the tradition"; "this is the way to do it here" (in Russia).
A portion of the respondents (about 12%) said that they did not even think about whether to change or keep their surname, the decision coming "naturally":
"I don't remember actually making my choice, it came as part of the ritual of getting married and was taken for granted by both my husband and me".
Some answers clearly indicated that respondents did not feel they had the option of keeping their surname. These were given by both older women (e.g. "They did not ask you then whether you want to keep your maiden surname") and younger women (e.g. "I made my choice obeying the tradition"). One respondent who answered "yes" to the question of whether she is satisfied with the choice of surname for herself added, "but if I could, I would have kept my own". This and similar answers indicate that what seems to reflect a free and individually determined choice may in fact reflect gender in-group identification and beliefs about the capabilities of women as a social group (cf. Nosek, Banaji and Greenwald 2002).
Religious affiliation was also referred to as a determining factor in surname choice ("I am a Russian Orthodox and the thought of NOT taking my husband's name never occurred to me"). Over 25% of the respondents stressed the role of their husbands and/or husbands' relatives. Their comments show that decisions in favor of husband's name are made not because alternative choices are legally unavailable but as a conscious compliance consistent with traditional familial hierarchies:
"It was a concession to my husband. He made the choice instead of me... It was very important for him, and I did not want to oppose — after all, such is the tradition, and I do not want conflicts in the family".
"It was not my choice but my husband's. It never occurred to him that I might like to keep my name and I did not want to hurt his feelings".
The idea of not wanting "to hurt" the husband's feelings by refusing to take his surname was reiterated by women of different age groups. The wording of the answers shows that while older women tended to tolerate the husband's right to make this choice ("My future husband told me to do so, and I did not want to hurt him"), younger women tended to emphasize their own potential agency ("...if I decided to keep my maiden name, my husband would not understand me"; "I loved my future husband very much and did not want to offend him"). The actual agency in marriage is aptly illustrated by the Russian idiom brat' v zhony ('to take as wife'), where syntactic positions of subject and object are gender specific. Being reiterated in folk stories and fairy tales, this expression inevitably affects the conceptualization of gender and family roles.
While most Russian men insist that their wives change surnames upon marriage, when they become fathers (or grandfathers) with only daughter(s) and no sons, they may advocate the opposite and insist on their daughters' keeping "maiden names" in order to prevent their family name from disappearing (this phenomenon does not seem to be similar in the US or other data). It was mentioned by four respondents (e.g. "My husband is the last representative of his family, and since we have two daughters he would like at least one of them to keep his surname — i.e. her birth surname — after marriage"). This issue seems important for women as well. Three respondents who kept their birth surnames mentioned among the reason that they wanted "the family name to live".
One respondent who kept her birth surname said that she did so having been advised by her sister, who was divorced by that time:
"I am glad that I kept my maiden name. Now that my father has died, it helps me to feel that our family is living".
Another respondent (who kept her birth name through three marriages and two divorces) mentioned her mother as an advisor in the matter of naming choice:
"It was my mother's advice, and now I realize that she was right. Husbands come and go, but my name is always with me".
Linguistic constraints (etymology)
Whereas in English the expression "to be married" applies to both women and men, this is not the case in Russian. There are two lexical terms: zamuzhem is applied to women, and zhenat is applied to men. The etymology of the Russian word zamuzhem seems relevant in terms of the present research — it was referred to by several women-respondents as an explanation of why they took their husbands' names after marriage. Zamuzhem is a derivative of the Russian word muzh (husband); literally it means "to be behind the husband", i.e. to be protected/provided for by the husband. Apparently, this concept still
has some influence on the Russian mentality. Married men in Russian are denoted by the word zhenat, which is derived from the zhena ("wife"), but indicates pure connection without associations of dependence as implied by the word zamuzhem.
The results of the interviews indicate that many Russian women change their names because they think it the right thing to do, women's moral obligation (the words should and ought to actually appear in several questionnaires). Some see it as an indispensable tribute or sign of love. One interviewee, whose married name is very awkward, said that for many years she "defended" her love by "defending" the name of her husband, acting more like a mother (one who protects) than like a wife (one who is protected).
Identity and Security
When the question of choice actually arises, women tend to decide in favor of either identity or security (security in the sense of freedom from fear, anxiety, danger, doubt; state or sense of safety). This particular social pressure on a woman upon marriage is still very strong. Indeed, the issue of security emerged as relevant in women's narratives in both sets of data, Russian and US. This is exemplified in the use of specific speech acts that either explicitly mention or imply threat:
"I did not want to take my husband's name because I felt a tie to my last name and I did not want his because his family did not welcome me in the family with open arms. Why would I want that last name? This is something we discussed until the night before the wedding. My husband is a non-demanding patient man but he said to me after the rehearsal dinner you need not walk down the isle if you do want to take my last name..."
In addition to not wishing to hurt husbands' feelings by refusing to take their name, several Russian respondents mentioned unwillingness to displease his relatives. One woman said that she did not plan to change her name after marriage and her husband did not insist, but his relatives (mother and aunts) said that they would not come to their wedding, so she relented (" I did not want to start my family life with a conflict"). It appears that in most such cases, husband's parents or relatives live in rural areas where patriarchal traditions are the strongest (e.g. "I was made to change my maiden name by the parents of my husband. They live in a village — where everybody knows everything — and were afraid of peoples' disapproval"). In the interviews, several women explained that they took their husbands' names because they felt uneasy about possible gossip and questions such as "is it your second marriage?" In short, they did not want to be conspicuous.
Consistent with the US data, ten Russian women aged 20s through early 40s said in the questionnaires that the main reason for taking their husbands' names was the desire to have the same surname as their children (even though in some cases the husbands were not insistent).
Quite a few respondents (17) stressed that a family should have one surname. Three women said that they regarded the same surname as a reinforcement of family union, love and stability ("The change of surname gave me the feeling that we have become closer with my husband").
Children's school was indicated by four respondents as a potential source of threat: as it is expected that mother and child should have one surname, peers and teachers get curious otherwise. One respondent who did not take her husband's name after marriage was about to do so at the time of data collection. As she explained, her son was going to school in September, and she did not want teachers and other children to ask him "inconvenient" questions or think that there may be "a problem" in the family (stepparent, divorce, etc.). In Russia retaining one's birth surname in marriage is still seen by many as a challenge to family values. The majority of women who might like to keep their surnames neither want nor dare to face this challenge; thus, they choose security and sacrifice identity.
In some respects, Russian society still considers unmarried women to be failures. Indeed, marriage is seen as something right and proper. A few of the respondents who married late said they were glad to change their birth surnames so that others might stop looking at them as deficient. One young woman explained that she changed her name after marrying her partner because she was annoyed by questions about the status of their relationship. Taking the new surname was a signal of her respectable married status, and it made her feel more secure.
Eleven Russian women confided that they disliked their birth surnames and did not identify with them. They were glad to take their husband's names, which seemed to them more appealing. An example illustrates:
"Now I am happy with my surname: My maiden name always seemed amorphous to me, so when I was getting married, the question whether to change or to keep my surname was answered very quickly: Now I feel my husband's surname to be my own, and I will not change it in the future".
Ethnicity is intertwined with gender. Russia is a multi-ethnic country with many cross-ethnic and cross-national marriages. In most cases, wives have been expected to take their husbands' surname, irrespective of nationality. Two women in their 40s and 50s (both ethnic Russians with Russian birth surnames who married men with Ukrainian names) spoke about misplaced ethnic identity ("people look at me as if I were a Ukrainian"). One of them indicated that since the Soviet Union no longer exists, she would like "to return to her roots", i.e. to her Russian surname; however, she does not think it possible because it will mean a conflict with her husband. One respondent in her 60s, an ethnic German who lived her childhood and youth in the period of WWII (when ethnic Germans were forced to leave the Volga region, etc.) admitted that she wanted "to hide" under the Russian surname of her husband, but failed because of her German first name and patronymic
(Elsa Franzevna). A Russian surname was perceived as an asset by one Armenian woman whose husband was Russian ("A Russian surname made certain things easier: But at the same time, it was a loss of uniqueness"). Another woman (Jewish-Russian-Polish-Ukrainian) said she took her grandfather's name because at that time (1950s) it was easier to enter the university with a Russian name. In all those cases change of a surname was seen as an enhancement of security. However, our data provides contrary sentiments as well (e.g. a happy life story of a Georgian woman who kept her birth surname after marrying a Russian), and an ethnic Ersyan (an ethnic minority in Mordva) woman, who kept her name and always enjoyed its "ethnic coloring".
Retainers and 'Returners' in Russia
Of the 103 Russian women who completed the questionnaire and/or were interviewed, 17 currently have their birth surname (16,5%). This percentage is consistent with naming choice statistics of Nizhny Novgorod ZAGS, the district agency that registers marriages, divorces, births and changes of surnames for various reasons. In 159 cases of 1008 marriages registered in 2002 (15,9%), the women chose to keep their birth surnames.
Five women in our sample (in their 20s through 70s) took back their birth surnames after divorce. All of them mentioned that they did not like/identify with their husband's names and after divorce were glad to return to their own. One more returner (now in her 30s, married in her 20s) took back her birth surname before graduation from the university. Having faced the necessity of bureaucratic formalities — in order to get a diploma she had to change her 'zachetka' (grades record book) and other documents, she realized it would be better and easier to return to her birth surname, which she had always missed, and which was respected in the town where she lived because her grandfather and father were famous scholars.
Eleven Russian retainers represent all of the age categories, including the oldest. Two of them (40s and 30s) said they kept their birth surnames for purely "technical" reasons — to avoid the trouble of changing the passport and other documents. Two more women (both half Jewish, one in her 20s, the other in her 70s), whose husbands were Jewish, said they preferred to keep their Russian surnames (in one case, it was the father's name; and in the second — the grandfather's name): "my husband and I decided that in Russia it's better to have a Russian surname".
Common to other retainers (7) is a striving to maintain personal and/or professional identity. One woman (20s) who was getting married at the time she completed the questionnaire provided the following explanation:
"I like my surname; I think it matches well my first name and patronymic. Besides, I am used to my surname — for me to change it now, would be the same as changing the first name... I know that if I did it, I would feel discomfort as if I were wearing somebody else's dress..."
One retainer (40s) stressed that in the Soviet times a compromise (a hyphenated name) was legally unavailable.
Several respondents (60s, 50s and 40s) mentioned professional/ career reasons. Three women, by the time of marriage, were established academics with a number of publications. One was a musician; she and her husband used to work and perform in the same conservatory. For couples in artistic professions, it was and continues to be quite common to maintain a different surname. One woman said that at the time of marriage her husband was a famous scholar and she had just started the work on her dissertation ("I did not want my own scholarly achievement to be attributed to my husband").
It appears that in all these cases, husbands did not object to wives' keeping their birth names, although only one woman mentioned this fact explicitly:
"My husband never insisted on changing the name. He liked my surname because he appreciated its national coloring. And I never regretted it, although it created some difficulties... I remained myself".
How does changing or keeping surnames affect women's lives?
Most women who changed their surnames following the tradition stated that it did not change anything significant in their lives. In fact, it was the most frequent answer in both sets of data. Apparently, since taking a husband's name was seen as something normal, they felt prepared for possible changes and took them for granted.
Some women who changed their names admitted that it did affect their lives. Those who took their husband's names and are satisfied with the decision mentioned:
• satisfaction in affiliation ("I have become part of one more loving family"; "One surname is like a symbol of our union"; "Change of the surname gave me a feeling that we have become closer to each other");
• shaping the new identity ("It must have influenced my self-concept: in ways unknown to me it shaped the me I am today"; "A new name was a sign of my new status (a married woman)... it helped me and others (my parents, friends) to realize the change and marked the beginning of a new phase in my life").
Women who took their husband's names and are not satisfied referred to:
• sense of lost identity ("To some extent, the new surname changed my personality and my thoughts. They became more like my husband's";
"It seems to me sometimes that I have lost a part of myself'; "I miss my maiden name and have been missing it all my married life — 34 years");
• Dissatisfaction with inconvenience ("It added confusion to my life... people do not "recognize" me under my new surname"; "I feel embarrassed by my new name"; "I associate my new surname with my husband's relatives, whom I dislike"; "It added problems — change of a passport, other documents at work").
All women who retained or returned to their birth surnames indicated that they are satisfied with their choice.
Men's surnames in marriage
Although it has been a legal option in the Russia since Soviet times, cases of men adopting wives' surnames are extremely rare. Clearly this is also the case in US and North American communities. One of the Russian interviewees told of a case where the husband took his wife's name to strengthen the bond with her family. He himself was an orphan, and the family of his wife was well-known and respected in the city — a family with long traditions. Another interviewee said that her son wanted to take his wife's surname. He disliked his own surname, which he felt was awkward-sounding, and had been ashamed of it since childhood. It was his mother who did not allow him to do so, since, as a man, he was expected to stand by his name. She thought it a disgrace for a man to take wife's surname. Unlike women in both communities, men are not forced by tradition to change their names, but are expected to keep them. Indeed women themselves in both societies wittingly or unwittingly support these patriarchal structures.
Children and surnames
Children are, of course, directly affected by naming choices, as we have seen in the data. One Russian respondent told of her sister's daughter, who, at the age of seven, had undergone three surname changes (from father's to stepfather's and then to mother's birth surname). In the case of divorce, when mothers return to their birth surnames and later remarry, the name of a child can only be changed with consent of the father, which is not always given. A consequence is that children often have the name of a parent whom they fear and may never see.
Related to this is the issue of what it means to be a "retainer or "returner" when retaining or returning is to one's father's surname. We have several anecdotes of US respondents who, having a new raised consciousness about women's issues, have taken on the surname of a female foremother.
Conclusion
Individual responses to hegemonic ideologies may take many forms, including "resistance, contestation, conflict, complicity, accommodation, and indirection" (Gal 1995: 175). We have seen many examples in the preceding discussion of each of these responses by women of all ages and educational levels in the two societies. Indeed, our study has shown once again that gender cannot be abstracted from other aspects of social identity; that is, in making naming choices women do not only act as women, but as mothers or future mothers, professionals, representatives of certain ethnic groups, regions, religions, and other social categories. Gender identity issues are always difficult to separate from women's complex forms of participation in their communities.
A recent study conducted at Harvard's economics department by C. Goldin and her former student M. Shim, (reported in Powell 2004) notes that US professional women are increasingly taking their husbands' surnames, as opposed to the 1980s. The study concludes that the decline in retaining may be due to gains women have made over the past few decades. We beg to differ with this conclusion, and assert that societal traditions and gendered hegemony are so hard to overcome that a temporary resistance has seen a reversal.
Indeed, naming is a socially situated act that constitutes and is constituted by available gender meanings and power relations inherent in them. Several types of speech acts were referenced repeatedly in women's narratives or can be inferred from them, and these demonstrate underlying reasons for surname "choices" across the two societies. "Refusal" to take a husband's surname is often seen as an "insult" to the husband or his relatives. Many comments suggesting "directives" and even "threats" show that the patriarchal beliefs of the dominant culture — if not husbands themselves — are the real decision-makers.
The meanings behind naming choices may vary. Surname options often indicate compliance with existing power hierarchies that reflect loyalty to tradition. Since so many respondents indicated that changing their surnames was symbolic of their "union" with their husbands, there exists a juxtaposition between the desire for familial solidarity and the desire to resist traditional male hegemony. For many women the act of name change is a conscious one of building a new married identity. What is below the level of consciousness, we believe, is what these conscious acts reflect.
APPENDIX: Russian data
Ru total Husband's name Birth name Hyphenated Returned
1 — Marital tatus
Married 92 81 8 3
Divorces 6 3 3
Widoved 5 2 3
Singie
Separated
Partnered
Total 103 86 11 6
2 — Age
49-55 35 30 2 3
20s 28 25 3
30s 28 23 3 2
55-65 8 6 1 1
65-75 4 2 2
over 75
NR
Total 103 86 11 6
3 — Religion
Russian
Orthodox73 64 7 2
Other
None 5 4 4
NR 25 18 4 3
Total 103 86 11 6
4 — Education at the time of marriage
Bigh scholl 17 15 1 1
BA (equivalent) 41 38 2 1
MA (equivalent) 37 29 5 3
Professional degree 8 4 3 1
Total 103 86 11 6
Bibliography
Gal S. (1995). Language, gender, and power: An anthropological review // Gender Articulated: Language and the Socially Constructed Self / Eds. K. Hall and M. Bucholtz. N.Y.; L.: Routledge. Nosek B, Banaji M, Greenwald A.G. (2002). Math = Male, Me = Female, Therefore
Math .. Me // Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. Vol. 83. N 1. Powell A. (2004). A new comfort zone? Fewer women keeping names in marriage. Harvard University: Harvard Gazette (August 11).
